The real Ned Kelly story: The truth

JULIAN SIEBER

Historian Greg Wood has discovered a significant amount of information that suggests all-time Australian Bushranging Champion Ned Kelly was wrongfully hanged.

“The year was 1880 – at the time, Bushranging was an international sport,” said Mr Wood. “It was pretty much the only event in which we actually won any medals at the Winter Olympics.

“Mr Kelly was a legend of the sport. The reason why they had him killed was basically because the sheriff thought he was a robot from the future, with all his robot clothes and spacemask and whatnot.

“The sheriff soon convinced the townsfolk that Mr Kelly was in fact a time-travelling robot and they lured him to the gallows with a trail of corn chips.

“When he reached the last of the deadly delicacies, he was standing in the middle of the town square next to a few of those hanging-things and all the people of the town were standing around him brandishing weapons.

“When they forced him to remove his spacemask, everyone was confused, until one man yelled out ‘Let’s hang the man with a beard!’ But then another man replied: ‘No – let’s use a rope!'"