MMA completely not gay: Dana White

PATRICK WILLIAMS

Mixed Martial Arts enthusiast and UFC president Dana White has lashed out at various sports fans’ descriptions of Mixed Martial Arts as ‘pure uninhibited homoeroticism’.

“The claim is simply absurd”, stated White, “I mean, what could be more masculine and heterosexual than mounting a sweaty, muscular, semi-naked man in order to exert your dominance over him?”

“Beer. That’s what. But nothing else.”

After one reporter informed White that ‘Dana’ itself is actually a chick’s name, White responded aggressively.

“I’ll kill you for that. Now, take off your clothes and let us wrestle until we get all sweaty and one of us can’t take it anymore and has to pull out. Leave your underwear on though. That would be gay if you took it off.”